Though my journey dates way back to early childhood I will start this particular Testimony in 2019. Anticipating the Lenten season where going to further lengths to draw close to Jesus is the main objective. In hindsight, my excitement caused a classic rookie mistake…making my own plans.
Not being “trained up,” I had been studying, growing, and putting into practice, but now I wanted to offer a grande gesture to contribute to glorifying God. I wanted to create a Lenten Special Podcast with my husband. The bonus would be spending extra time with my spouse since his job and our littles can create an unwanted, but necessary distance. I imagined by the end of it we would come out closer to each other and closer to God while helping others be become closer to Him. What a win-win-win!
When I informed God of my decision. I asked Him to reveal some things to me because I am not always trusting of human answers and I don’t want to just repeat things without knowing for sure. To be completely honest I was a bit so skeptical of how much of the Bible was legit. See in the book Fervent Priscilla Shirer writes about “the enemy” and his wicked ploys. She did an incredible job explaining a side of spirituality not many cover.
However, after reading the book I was left wondering, “Is it all the enemy or does everloving God really test and punish us?” After asking the man upstairs, weeks later came a very trying and confusing Lenten season. I can now with confidence say that He does indeed test us and allow punishment/consequences to happen to us. He is, after all, a parent, “Our Father.”
This was the revelation after being for lack of better words, but extremely accurate…butt hurt. I’m not proud of the shortfall from grace feeling that way and sort of lost. That is how real relationships work though and we should seek to have the real thing with God. Why did I feel that way? Well, Lent was full of marital misunderstandings and everyone in the house took turns being sick. Feeling deserted when I wanted to become closer than ever with the Lord. I prayed for protection from the “enemy” beforehand. Why was she allowed to reak havoc in our home?
On Good Friday I stepped out of the garage to see double rainbows very clear and near. A reminder of His promises! I was not deserted. Refilled with hope, I reflected. Remembering my prophetic dream of my son vomiting white salt. From what I researched it seemed an omen of illness with the salt representing purification. Thankfully I told my husband about the dream because I would have sounded crazy after the fact. The following night my son indeed got sick. Then one by one we all did and some of us twice.
What a miserable Lenten season, but I suppose I asked for it to be. At the end…
Q. Why was the podcast not blessed?
A. “I never asked you to do that.” -God
R. Sometimes we try to run in a direction not meant for us. He reminded me this journey is a walk with Jesus, not a race even if it is meant to bring Him glory. He has plans for us that can’t be forced…in his time.
(Ecclesiastes 3:1, Colossians 1:16, Psalm 33:11, Romans 8:28)
The beautiful view from our garage Good Friday 2019🌈🌈 (Genesis 9)
And that is just the beginning of this year’s testimony!
Until next time…